My wife almost lost it

BreakdownIn the section 'My question is...' you can ask any questions or get advice from other swingers. Just send your question by email to media@sdc.com. Today we received a cry for help from 'John'. He desperately needs some advice from you guys. 

"We had our first full swap and my wife lost it... almost broke up over it.  she been wanting me to sleep with another person but when it happend she did not like it ... in fact she hated it.  She still wants to swing but the question is: should we? Any help would be thankful."

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+5 #21 Ha 2012-07-09 13:40
Ok learning from all your comments we when back in and met a great couple we are only doing soft swap personally I am a little nervous about doing a full swap again. I don't want things to go where they went before. We really like this couple there great friends already a little different from the swinger club but I like the club because once the night was over it was done no attachments. Not saying I don't like the attachments I so new I just don't know where that's going to lead us. Anyone have or had long couple relationships , And do you stick with one couple or play around with a few ? I have a lot of question but I will stop here for now....thanks
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+5 #22 Mickie 2012-07-11 18:57
They need to take it slow.. There are many forms of "swinging". Why do you think SDC has so many different options, IE soft swap? girl/girl? oral only? If she is still interested give it a shot but definitely take your time or try attending a lifestyle resort like Desire somewhere where neither of you know anyone so it can be like a "What happens in Desire stays in Desire type situation?" :)
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+5 #23 couple4u21 2012-07-14 05:34
look. If you wanna do it then you have to understand that BOTH of you have to be on board. You really shouldn't try to force her, but if you are into this then allow her the knowledge of exactly, "why you're into it!" We (me and mine) have been together since 2000 and we are happy, but evry here and there we like the idea of having another body in bed. It's not just a "fuck it it where we can" thing but it is about us. And that is what you have to understand. Your relationship is about BOTH of you not just you and not just her.

You should also understand that all of this is ONLY advice and should only be regarded as such.
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+6 #24 Ann 2012-07-14 15:29
I ordered instructional type books and we both read them before we started swinging.It REALLY helped us think about and talk about both the emotional and physical side of what you will go through.The emotional side of it is huge.Those books were invaluable to us.We have signals between us and agree if either one of is ever uncomfortable with the situation, we let the other one know and it stops.No matter how much the other partner wants it to happen, if one of you isn't comfortable, it goes no further.It's never worth causing you problems as a couple. But talk, talk, talk about what each other is feeling, before and after.We've been full swap for about 4 years now and love it.I still buy books and we read them together.It has made our marriage unbelievably stronger and sexier.I actually freaked out the first time we went to a swingers club, and we were still just sitting at the table fully clothed!Just takes time and lots of talking.We now love watching each other with another person.
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+3 #25 m_expressions 2012-07-15 15:49
If you both tried a full swing, and she freaked out and was mad at you,But you enjoyed seeing her with another man, Maybe your next step is to have just a three way with another man,make her the center of attention,both of you for her,concentrate on making her feel special. if you do not mind sharing your wife it may be as far as you need to go.show her you are doing it because you want to give her as much as you can.
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+1 #26 laughinglovers 2012-08-06 23:25
You may encourage her to read the blogs and explore the forums so she can see she's not alone and hear from others that feelings raised in the lifestyle can be exciting and frightening. It forced us to explore our relationship from a very unique point of view, testing what held us together and what out commitment meant. Don't feel badly if the answer is that it's not for you, but I'd also advise really opening your hearts to each other and maybe you'll find this crises has a silver linging and you'll discover something richer. For some monogomous sex is such a core bond that its breaking doesn't leave behind a healthy relationship if continued, others discover bonds they never knew they had or bonds that were much more meaningful than monogomous sex.
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