Tips for your (first) swingers date

mediasdcYou had first email contact because you liked the profile on SDC. Maybe chatted with that nice couple. Now you are planning the second step: the actual meet up. The knock on the door: hi... here we are. But before you meet, there are a few things to consider. First, you should have discussed what to do if one or the both of you really don't like them and want to leave. A code phrase can be useful.




More tips

  • Want to know if a couple is for real? In most cases the earlier you discuss meeting, the quicker 'fakes' stop contacting you since they have no intention of meeting anyone.
  • Make sure what you expect: is it diner/drink date, or is there room for first play?
  • Choose your meeting location well! If you just want to meet, a hotel room is not a good place.
  • If you’ve arranged a meet and greet, or a play date, be punctual. Make sure you have exchanged phone numbers so you can call in case you're going to be late
  • Choose the right outfit. When you meet in a restaurant, you don't want to look too sexy. Wear whatever you would normally wear for an evening out. This goes for the both of you.
  • Mind the use of alcohol, especially when you drink to make you feel less nervous.
  • Don't put too much pressure on yourself and your partner.
  • Have an open mind and not to high expectations.
  • A play date? Take your own condoms, lube and toys.
  • Be honest to your spouse, and to the other couple about the date.
  • Don't be afraid to make first contact afterwards.
  • Never tell other people the real identities of your dates or playmates.

We would love to hear about your (first) swinger date tips and/or experiences.

Meet other couples on SDC


+30 #1 Decky999 2015-08-18 22:03
Make sure you have taken a shower before meeting ;-)
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-11 #2 Ron 2015-08-19 00:56
All good advise, but lesson we learned, do plan to have your first meet be the one you get naked. You can avoid uncomfortable moments if one of you does not have a feeling of attraction for your potential playmate.
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+11 #3 Ron 2015-08-19 00:57
Sorry!!! Meant to write DO NOT PLAN TO HVE YOUR FIRST MEET be the one you get naked.
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+19 #4 Monkeyx 2015-08-19 03:52
I think the biggest thing is to RELAX and have fun. It can be awfully nerve-wracking for first timers. Know that no one is going to attack you, and saying "no" is just fine. Have an exit strategy if you don't feel the chemistry and communicate with your partner both during and especially after the meeting as to all the feelings that came up and what you liked or want to do differently going forward. Develop a "sign" for yes and a "sign" for no that you both know and recognize (a thigh squeeze, and ear pull, whatever). Communicate, communicate, communicate.
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+13 #5 Diehard67 2015-08-23 17:35
As a single male in the lifestyle, I have come up with my own tips I will share with you here:
- feel the vibes the first 5-10 minutes while having an initial drink. It is true we are nervous when first meeting, but we are also the most honest during that time.
- leave the meeting with a graceful way out. Even if things went very well, I offer my phone number, with a simple expectation: a short text of yes/no!. No pressure, no obligation.
- approach each new couple as if it is the first couple you are meeting. No point comparing previous dates, good or bad, since each will be unique.
- common sense should always be the first resort: be on time, look your best, smell good, and basically go on with the assumption you are having fun!
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+4 #6 G&M 2015-09-17 17:05
our first swing experience was bitter sweet...If you are a couple i would suggest taking your time to ensure the female is relaxed and properly turned on. never a good idea to start playing while the other partner is out of the room!! Its always better to communicate your hard limits before getting started, you might find it awkward to say "i'm not doing that" in the middle of the action or the heat of the moment.
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+3 #7 Fantasy 2015-09-22 02:14
Hello Everyone,

We are new to this and we are exited to involved in reality.
Plese any hav experienced before they can feel free to contact us on Skype message us pls.

Waiting for your reply.
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0 #8 Fantasy 2015-09-22 02:17
We are new to this and we are exited to involved in reality.
Plese any hav experienced before they can feel free to contact us on Skype message us pls. ID is fantasy534881

Waiting for your reply.
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+3 #9 sexynana 2015-10-14 00:59
6601 Scenic Pointe Dr SE
we have a "SAFE WORD" so if I do not feel comfortable in a situation I can say the word and my partner knows to help one but him knows what is going on
I have had to use it on occasion
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0 #10 DJSAtx216 2015-12-17 02:25
Thanks for all the great advice! We have not been in a first date and are nervous about it, all aspects of it! It's exciting and scary, but the tips here will help.
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