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How to deal with rejection?

- In Swingers questions

no sexAnn needs to have some advice about dealing with rejection. Can you help her out?

 “Peter and I recently started swinging and we are already notice the happy effect it has on our sex life. It is fun and we really like it. However, I do sometimes feel a bit insecure when a couple rejects either Pete or me. Can anyone help out and give us tips how to deal with that?"

Comments   

 
+9 #1 Janey and David 2012-07-03 05:50
How to handle rejection? Don't worry about it. When you were first dating, you weren't attracted to everyone you met, and some people just turned you off. Its no different as swingers - and you really shouldn't expect it to be different.

I'm sure your not attracted to every couple your meeting, and not all are going to be attracted to you - its expected and you just move on. You are, after all, expecting two complete strangers to decide you two are the perfect sexual mate they've been looking for - your lucky if that happens once out of every three or four couples - and when it does, have a great time. The ones that don't match up with you, may turn out to be great friends, but not playmates..and that's okay!

Remember..this is all about having fun - if its not fun, or your not sure of the people your meeting, walk away..there will be another time!
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0 #2 Jason 2012-07-03 21:47
My rule is leave the drama out of it. It's all good. Whatever happens happens. I am a single guy and not in the best shape and I get rejected a lot. :( but I keep trying because I love meeting new people and I've met a lot of people from all walks of life and countries. Tops,bottoms,sw ingers,etc... Don't take it personal. And fuck em if they can't see what wonderful people you are. Good Luck.
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0 #3 Steve 2012-07-04 17:59
There's really only one way to look at this...are you attracted to everyone who finds you attractive? No? Of course not. So...why would the situation not apply in reverse?

We call it "getting over yourselves". No one on earth is beyond either attraction on the one hand or rejection on the other...and every living soul learns that by the time adolescence is over and adulthood is achieved.

Of course we all take it personally when someone rejects us; it is personal! But since no one is God's gift to the world and we all know it deep inside, just move on a focus on the good connections you've made and will continue to make. To do otherwise is to be self-pitying narcissists.
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+2 #4 Tiff 2012-07-05 15:11
It can be little scary at times meeting new couples in the scene. I'm blonde, blue eyes, and 34F, I feel average. When we go out alot of couple don't come up to us, it's like we're the pleage..Come to find out when we do start talking to couples they tell us we thought you where out of our league. What league? We're just like everyone else!! So just go over and start introducing yourself to everyone thats what we do, so they know how open you are and polite.
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0 #5 sec 2012-07-07 19:14
Just walk down the street and look at people we are all so different. That give us so many choices dont feel rejected remeber the times you were accepted. Hell admiting not out but here that I am bi I can not get a female date. I tried the other friend site for ever and all talk no dates. I know Its the bi thing when I go out I get hit on cause I am so shy, it shows. There are even times I reject myself no masterbation till I lose my belly... :)
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0 #6 Ann 2012-07-14 15:36
That's a tough one.Happens to all of us.But you have to realize you aren't turned on by everyone that may contact you or tries to get something started either.It's so much tougher when trying to get two couples to click.You have to learn not to take it personally because you will turn down people too, for whatever reason.That's a tough one and I doubt any of us will ever so calloused that it doesn't bother us from time to time.But there's always someone else ready to have fun.
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0 #7 Don 2012-08-14 03:08
Very true, gotta admit...
For all the rejections we get...think of all the rejections we have dished out? LOL! The human psyche only focuses on bed things when it comes to things like this...we never really remember when we do it to others as we are not the ones being rejected. It's swinging...it's all give and take!
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