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How can I change her thinking?

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Change AheadIn the categorie 'My question is...' a cry for help from 'Peter'. Do you have a question or problem you need help with? Send an email to media@sdc.com and ask other swingers.

My wife and I have talked about swinging for several years, but she refuses to seriously consider it.We have been married over 30 years and are very committed to each other. I (husband) would like to try it, but she will not even consider meeting another couple for dinner to discuss it.The logic here seems to be "let her be in control". With her religious background, that may never cause anything to happen.So I have basically given up trying. Have I missed something? Any advice on what to do to change her thinking? I understand this is a VERY common problem among couples.

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+5 #21 lavaland360 2012-07-19 16:45
Her issue seems to be religion. Sex is the most misunderstood part of religion. The bible teaches by rule then example. It does not dictate what a couple does in the bedroom only who you can do it with. The book of LEV gives a long list of people who you can not have sex with. The rest of mankind is open as long as you have the permission of the father, if she is young and unmarried, or the husband if she is married. ADULTERY is when you do not get that permission first. Adultery is not simply having sex with someone else. This concept is something that changed from its biblical meaning by the 10th century church, making it what we hear today. Look at what the patriarchs did. Her relationship with her God should be biblical based. Sex feels good because God wanted her to enjoy being female. Have your wife do the research herself, don't listen to modern era preaching unless it is in a Bible church. I tell you this because this is what we did and the wife is having the time of her life.
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0 #22 unpardeases 2012-07-24 19:29
Agree with Peter's comments. You need to start from "the beginning" and introduce her to your male friends who will be willing to seduce her. You might start by acting it up and along her side. Just flirting or even better: start with a game of strip poker with others and couples. This is a slow start for everybody in this lifestyle. It never happens all at once. Keep trying man! it is worthy if you conquer it!!
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+1 #23 Über Rat 2012-10-03 06:27
I think if I had ask the wife to meet up with a couple she would have freaked, actually she still probably would lol.
We started by going to club, after we settled down (and stopped giggling) she grabbed my, little friend, and the rest is history.
I would recommend a gentle introduction with a nice club, followed by a bit of watching, bit of booze helped too :) she might surprise you under the right circumstance, mine sure did (I'm still laughing about the guy she chased round the club determined to give him a hand job - he picked on the wrong lady to play the sexy male stud to).
She too is very religious and it has take a lot of conversations to get her head straight, but boy is it worth every second it took. Although I'm happy for her to enjoy herself, she has yet to go much beyond a bit of fiddling with other boys and girls, but the excitement of not knowing what the next club holds is just great fun.
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