Soft swap or not?
Being in the lifestyle is not always easy. You can feel insecure, or have a question or problem you would like to have an answer on. Ask other swingers what they think and get the answers or tip you need. Do you have a question? Send an email to media@sdc.com and find the anser in our category 'Swingers Questions'. This time: 'I saw my husband penetrating another woman, but I don't want that. What to do?'
My husband and I just recently had our first soft swap. The other couple didn't feel comfortable performing in front of their spouse and encouraged us to be in separate rooms. We have a no penetration rule, however upon entering the room that they were in it appeared that they were actually penetrating. He says they didn't but I seen otherwise. I like the LS but I don't like the feeling of seeing him penetrate another woman. ...How should I handle this?
Comments
I recommend you wait until the two of you are not in an emotionally charged moment (i.e., no bedroom, no argument, etc. ). Explain to your husband that, in spite of his denial, you feel as if he violated your no penetration rule. Explain how you feel about whether or not you want to continue in the Lifestyle. Ask him to explain his feelings about continuing in the Lifestyle. Hopefully, you both can have a cogent discussion and move on in a mutually agreed direction.
Good Luck.
Be Well!
Apparently the OP stated they are a soft swap couple. Their play partners for that evening, felt uncomfortable in the same room. So, they went and played in separate rooms. The real problem is the OP and her husband had made a "no penetration" rule. She feels the husband violated said rule, which he denies.
The problems are trust and communication!! The two perennial and most important issues in the Lifestyle. You have to trust your partner to obey the rules regardless the location. And, the husband can't just brush off her concerns about what she believes she saw.
They need to talk this out and get through it. If not, there may be dark days ahead for their relationship, let alone their being in the Lifestyle.
We have moved on and spent a lot more time with communication before, during and after. Other situations have come up and we have dealt with them easier.
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